S2: E3 Opened Doors

"When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us." - Helen Keller

For most of my life, I have had a hard time being present. I often look in the past and say, "Awww, this happened a year ago today," and other things like that. While it's important to remember all the good times and cherished memories, we have to be grateful for what is happening in the moment as well. Because each tick of the second hand on a clock is time we will never get back. 

My self confidence lacks a lot of the time. I convince myself that people don't like me when I very well know they do. I sometimes feel left out or even unappreciated. Me saying all this is not a cry for compliments, just being open to what goes on in my mind. Many doors in my life have closed unexpectedly and I may never understand why. They hurt and always will, and cause me to be afraid to open new ones. 

But here's the thing, doors open no matter what. As the quote states above, we spend too much time looking in the past that we may not even notice when they do. We live in a society that is so focused on technology and comparing to the happy things other people are posting. While just looking at these things, new doors could be available to us and we don't even know it.

Two days ago I turned 28. I am not saying that turning 28 has changed me, but I do feel this new sense of self, an opened door, if you will. I just know that THIS year is going to be a good year. Luckily, my birthday falls in the first month of the new year, so I actually have a whole calendar the same age, minus 19 days, haha. Since the pandemic started last March, this was my turn to experience a quarantine birthday. But they are much harder to celebrate in the winter. Too cold to do anything outside or have a parade and no one to hang out with because it's not safe to do so indoors... but I made the best of it. 

I bring this up because of all the eye opening virtual love I received! My mailbox was full of cards (and my new license!), there were a couple of packages on my steps, I woke up to a phone full of texts from close friends as well as people I haven't talked to in a while, and received some very generous unexpected gifts. I took all of this in and realized how much people truly care about and love me. Everyone took time out of THEIR day to say or do something special for ME. It all meant the world to me. On a day where I wanted nothing more than to be with people, but wasn't able to, I was still surrounded by love. 

Opened doors are all around us. We just have take the time to see them.

Thank you to EVERYONE who made my winter quarantine birthday special. 

-mvm-